Here is the script for Episode One, so far at least, I will update it as I go along!
It starts just like the real episode One, with the camera panning out from the girl's eye when....
Director: WAIT!!!!!!! OK! WHO FORGOT TO GIVE HER EYEDROPS FOR THE TAKE! WHOEVER'S RESPONSIBLE IS GETTIN' A SALARY CUT TOMORROW!!!!! HER EYES ARE DRIER THAN BRITISH HUMOR!!!! Ah...it's not worth it, her character dies anyway....
- The intro song plays then cuts to the part with the boy and mom*
Mother: Son, listen up, in 1954, those lousy Americans attacked our prideful nation, aren't they evil!! See, there goes Little Boy an-
The storm starts up
Kid: Big BIRD!
The storm ensues, with things going just like the episode.
News Lady: Trouble is afoot as the largest tornado ever recorded hit some city we aren't going to name, it seems to have taken a quarter of the population!
Jetta: Heck Yeah......that's cool....
Naomi: With this kind of news, we'll be bankrupt, so fast! All of our amazing and ORIGINAL Bigfoot theories won't be hot anymore!!!!
Jetta: You never know, perhaps this was Mothman's doing! And even better, we got a tip!
Naomi: WE'VE GOT CHANGE!?!? Yes! No longer are we a five dollar cor-
Jetta shows Naomi the tip
Naomi: Awww......it's that kind of tip......"HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST THERE'S GIANT PTERANODONS WITH AIR BENDING POWERS HUNTING US!!" What does that mean??
Jetta: It means we've got a story, now, we just have to plagiarize their quote, because it's common sense that dinosaurs are the cause of tornadoes!
Naomi: I don't remember that in Elementary.....the last thing I want to get is Jurassic Park fan girls on our tail.
Shin: Cap, it was in middle school, not elementary! Surely it's ought to be true!
Shin: See look, a pattern of a bunch of storms at once, Andrew, Katrina, Sandy..Every other day there's a horrible storm Cap! Nothing to worry about, the Dino's are just mad because Jurassic World didn't get a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes!
Jetta: YEAH! This pteranodon must love disaster movies! That's perfectly sensible and comprehensible, let's put it on the site!
Naomi: But you guys just pulled up a Wikipedia page of list of hurricanes...that's not every other day....
Shin: You know I'm the guy, who founded over 300 memes when I was 3! I'm a genius, don't defy me! We'll look for it in the worst, uncovered, unprotected place possible! I've got this new invention see? I call it Device #803! So you see, it records the latest data on storms and dinosaurs! Isn't it genius!
Naomi: Is that thing actually going to do anything other than result in us going bankrupt from bills! We get only $2 a week for this job Shin! Step it up!