In one of my favorite moments as an Ultraman fan, Ultraman Jack (ironically my least favorite showa Ultra) told Mirai (Mebius' Human form) some that I have taken heart since then. 'You can't truly love something if you don't acknowledge its flaws', and it's true. You can't say you love someone if you cannot even think to acknowledge their flaws, that is the different between being a fan and being a fanboy (I'm using the gender neutral 'he'). So as an Ultra Fan I think I should take the time and list things about the Franchise that overall, just annoy me, irate me, or in the most extreme of cases, have me in fumes. We'll be doing this in a list of ten. Why ten, you may ask, because why not.

Now, note, this is not a list, of 'the worst things in the franchise' by any stretch, this is a personal piece of what annoys and by how much, from 10 being the least to 1 being the thing that tempts me to punch my monitor. Here we go...


The Over Merchandising

Now this should be obvious to everyone but it may not be obvious to everyone why it is so low. In fact, it's probably here because I said ten up above.

To encapsulate the whole issue, let me say two words: 'Spark Dolls'.

That's right, the small little collectible action figures...that no longer make any sense! In Ginga, when they first appeared, there was a legitimate and clear reason why they existed, after Ginga, people just go lazy. At the time of this posting, there has been no explanation as to why Spark Dolls appeared in Ginga S or X. In Ginga S, one would assume Exceller made them, like he did the Chibu Sparks, but no, the other aliens were apparently Spark Dolls Exceller Lived if I remember correctly, so he didn't make them. X makes even less sense, as the are OOparts, what does that mean? It's a big fancy word for, 'they don't belong there'. I am not even kidding OOparts literally stands for 'Out Of Place ARTifacts'. It is so sad that even the show doesn't give enough of a damn to explain where they came from, when prior logic states, they shouldn't exist. This is Bayformers level of plotholes!

But it all started long before then, Ultras getting Final Forms, that honestly they never needed before. Tiga got a final form in his last episode, but that tied into the shows themes overall. From Dyna to Nexus, no Ultra got a final form, maybe an upgrade, but those upgrades, were the results of story shifts (Gaia Supreme, or in Nexus' case were symbolic, and with Cosmos, were the end result of a philosophic argument) They were not in your face, they actually felt natural and part of the story. Ginga Storium literally is just a marketing tool to use nostalgia to get older fans to buy into this new Ultra/Series. Granted Knight Form for Victory felt like it should have been in the series and the Max Galaxy was the start of all of this. I won't talk about Zero, I'll save him for later.

The reason this is so low is because, I understand why it happens. Tsuburaya needs money, they need the franchise to produce money to continue with it. No money, NO ULTRAMAN.


Ultraman 80

Now let me be clear, I do not hate 80, I don't hate his series, in fact I like it, after the emotional beatdown that was Leo. My one and only issue with his nose. Why, oh, why, dos he have a nose? He almost doesn't look like an Ultraman and I know I'm not alone in this opinion. I can forgive it, because at least the designers were trying to be original but the same could be said of the Bayformers design (I really need to let that go...maybe when hell freezes over), just why? Since the original, an Ultra has never had a discernible nose, the Next's designer summed it up and I paraphrase "it looks like the nose and top lip have fused together", that is the face of every Ultra in a nutshell, so does 80 have a... second nose or something? It's small it's a pet peeve, let's move on.


Ultraman Jack

I have a mixed relationship with the Showa Era show, before even finding this site, the only show I watched to completion in this era was Ultra Seven. Now, Taro, at times it was Ultraman on crack/cocaine but I suspect that's a cultural thing...sometimes. Ace, right now I cannot stand the English Dubs to even try it, Leo takes me between lying on the floor and crying, to pumping my fist in the air (seriously I thought Seven was dark, if only I could go back to those innocent days...) and seemed to be coming off whatever Taro was on, 80 was kicks, when I wasn't staring at his nose and it had some of, if not the most energetic and entertaining fights, even by modern standards.

Jack...? What just Jack? Ultraman oozed with energy and a Sci-Fi sort of fantasy and energy, any flaws in its effects could be blamed on them being in the experimental phase. Seven was serious in comparison, but it took us for a trip.

Jack was, not the best. Besides the fact that he is literally a rip off of a previous character (serious his name is Jack because for some reason the creators could not trademark him as the Ultraman who Returned, or the original one because of that small difference in their markings), his stories often times retreaded the same ground (seriously how many times did this guy almost get kicked out of the group and how many times did it take before these fools listened to him) or try to go dark, but most of tim,e prior and later series just did it better. Even Go's transformation was meant to mimic Hayata's iconic stance.

Jack was an unoriginal character, with an unoriginal name (a child literally gave it to him), with effects that showed how much Eiji's genius was missed, and stories that for the most part, were reruns of each other but with different monsters. I would like to think that any series after Eiji's death, would have suffered, but this show reeks of them not even trying. Some of the monsters were good though.


The new Super Ultra Level Enemies

I had an argument with an Anon recently, the guy called Gatanozoa a 'weak kaiju' (the fool) and their only 'evidence (and I use the term oh, so loosely in this case) was to compare him to newer villains, like Eteldar, Greeza and I think Belial. Now, safe to say, his evidence for Gatanozoa's 'weakness' was lacking, but I realized that, 'why are there so many super powerful villains?' No, let me rephrase, why are there so many world destroying threats?

Now some of these threats aren't bad, some like Alien Empera, have history. The feats and history were teased before, so they don't come out of the blue. Gatanozoa to a lesser extent was teased, with a line of dialogue and before Final Odyssey we were lead to believe he defeated all the Ultras and forced them to leave Earth. But now, every series seems to end with a threat that could destroy the world. In the Showa Era it was that one last monster, that final challenge, the stakes hadn't change, just the difficulty. Now, we have world destroyers, and past that we graduated into 'the destruction of the Universe' threats, and then ' threats to the multiverse'.

Greeza was a nice reprieve, he was a serious threat but in a different way to most, less a villain and more a force of nature. But if they keep up with this the question must be asked, WHERE ARE THESE THINGS COMING FROM, and why hasn't the Universe been destroyed yet, because last I checked, King doesn't do that much! I suppose the multiverse idea, helps with why these guys haven't ganged up and turned the Land of Light to dust, but can we please get something different, we've begun to notice the pattern.


Ultraman Belial

Now coming off of number 7 is Belial, oh where to begin... For all my talk on the previous point, the argument could be made it all started being a problem, really and truly, with Belial. The fact that he kept coming back like a bad rash, did not help.

What's the typical nonsense about Belial, oh, "he beat the entire Space Garrison by himself". Firstly, if all of that was the entire Space Garrison, than I could fit the universe in my back pocket. Secondly, and people forget this, Belial needed the Giga Battle Nizer. Seriously, go back and watch the whole thing, he beat everyone with that glorified stick he carried about. Heck it was the only thing that could revive Empera (which is weird, given how often everyone else seems to come back so easily) and without it, he couldn't do most of the things he did in that first movie. The moment Zero disarmed him (which everyone should have attempted in the first place) Zero owned him. Now the argument could be made the Leo, Zero's teacher, could also have stopped him, along with Astra, but then we have Father of Ultra. Let's be honest Belial was getting his backside handed to him, even with the battle nizer, that was until he hit Father in the wound Empera gave him. Before that, all of Belial's 'might' equated to nothing, before Father of Ultra. Belial literally won that via a cheap shot.

Then we have his history, he was Ken's (Father of Ultra) friend who fought beside whim when Empera attacked the Ultras. He was his friend, who he had to banish, who was forcibly turned into a monster by Reiblood, and that all equates to nothing. Seriously the Ultra Franchise likes it villains simple.


Ultraman Zero

Oh, my boy Zero, several of the point before you, are about you, connected to you or just comparable to you. Let us begin...

Like Jack, Zero is literally a rip off of prior characters, he's Seven's form, with some added blue, and an extra Eye Slugger, he has Seven and Leo's powers and techniques, he has Jack's weapon (really Ultra), Tiga/Dyna's form change with moves based off Dyna and Luna's attacks, oh and Noa's wings. What is there about him that's original, is it that he's a 'golden boy' as I like to call it, nope, Taro did that first. What about Shinning form? Well, it's basically just Glitter mode except instead of being powered by the hope of humanity (which is also how Zero got Noa's wings) it the amalgamation of all his previous powers and forms. I'm not kidding, his 'true' final form is just everything that was copy and pasted to him, put in a blender and given a new suit...which looks a lot like Tiga's glitter mode, especially the second appearance.

They guy's overpowered presentation literally calls for more powerful foes, but let's just look at his track record.

Zero Vs Belial: Disarmed him and defeated him

Zero VS Belial 2: Belial (no longer relying on his staff, but clearly picked up hand-to-hand) left Zero flat on his backside before running of to go Arch form.

Zero Vs The Fake Ultra Brothers: Resulted in a long chase/fight, with Zero initially choosing to run away, until he was sent into another dimension with fake Ultraman and Seven, who promptly beat him until Leo saved his hide.

Zeo VS Beatstar: Gets beat up until Jean-Nine saved him

Zero VS Jean Killer: At best a draw, at worst, being out classed

Zero VS Giganto Zetton: He was swatted about by an over sized caterpillar, I'm sorry but, how can this thing hit him, yet he can dodge Belial's attacks. Don't tell me its the atmosphere, three minute rule, he's Seven's son, he doesn't have a time limit.

Zero may not be as overpowered as most (myself included) would believe but boy is he inconsistent. My issue with Zero being so powerful is simple, why should I care? As annoying as I find the three minute rule, it exists to nerf protagonists that could otherwise breeze through their opponents. Even if that was the case with Zero, what normal monster could be a threat to him, I don't doubt that he's part of the reason why we have so many uber-powerful foes right now.


The New Attack Teams

Besides Ultraman and Ultraseven, which were not originally intended to be in the same universe, why does every series have a new team. For some I understand, different series and everything, but I mean the Showa Series and Tiga/Dyna. Even the 'to sell toys' thing doesn't make sense of it, you can still do that, but in-Universe why?

Why was it, that in the Showa universe, every couple or every other year, the 'elite' team of monster hunters and invasion stoppers, gets changed, their base gets moved (okay that one I can reason with) their uniforms get changed and they get a new name, even though their jobs haven't changed. Even their HQ seems to change, sometimes New York, I think Paris one time, why?

Even the idea of new technology, doesn't explain this, at least in the Showa era.

In the Tiga/Dyna series they went from GUTS to Super GUTS, which isn't that big of a deal ( though Super is still a stupid name) GUTS was not originally a military organization, but its position meant it was the best option for fighting monsters and aliens. It originally was just to investigated paranormal activity and rescued people. Super GUTS was made to fight from the beginning, so it does make sense for the change ( I assume GUTS went back to rescue and investigation). So why is it here? Simple, what came after Super GUTS. Most of you would say...'nothing'. You would be wrong. With Tsubasa, Daigo's son in Revival of the Giant, he was part of Neo Super GUTS and so was Taiga from Ultraman Saga.

I rest my case.


MAT's Members

Now these guys I want to punch, each and every single one of them. Now imagine this, you are part of a government unit task with investigating the paranormal, fighting monsters, and stopping alien invasions. One of the guys on your team always has these 'feelings' that always accurately predicts a monster attack or invasion. Now this has happened more than three times. Why, on God's blessed green Earth, would you doubt the man?

But they did, every single episode, Go, get's a feeling, a hunch, that always predicts a monster attack or aliens. I'm surprised they didn't throw out there computers and just had Go looking at maps. Worse yet, they would always be skeptical of things like flying saucers, or strange events or happenings, refusing to think that they could have been monsters or aliens, you know, disregarding the two prior series and the very reason these idiots had jobs.

Say what you want about Zero, Belial and most of my prior points, the issue came not from the real world, but in-universe, these guys were complete idiots. Even the poor souls, the soldiers who got killed fighting aliens and monsters, did a better job than these clowns, if you ask me.


The Military/ Plan F

I was originally going to put Chaiyo Prod here, but I don't consider them part of the series. Now what about the Military in the Ultra Series, could bother me? Well it's ironically showed the most in Ultraseven (ironic because this is one of my favorite series) with the episode of Starbem...when some scientists made a bomb that could blow up a planet and tested it it. At the end of the episode they decided it would be better if they just went into bio-weapons. Do you see my point (a trick question, I'm going to keep ranting either way)

The thing I dislike about the Military in the Ultra Series is that they have this habit of using, creating, desiring completely unnecessary weapons. Now some may argue that, they have a right to those weapons, me? I say if it can blow up a planet, you've gone to far. Look at Prometheus, from Ultraman Dyna, that ship whose rechargeable gun, could cause a nuclear level explosion. Which then got captured by the enemy. With all of these weapons, I had to ask, where do these fools expect to use these weapons, because almost never do they fight enemies, anywhere but on Earth, or around it. In the case of the missile, their attack would be detected and intercepted quickly destroyed by the beings with superior technology. Also these weapons simply prove the points of some invaders, that mankind is a violent race who would one day become a threat to peace in the universe.

No more is this more clear than with Plan F. What is Plan F you ask, it was a project in TPC, where some war hawks tried to weaponize Ultraman. You heard me, they tried to weaponize Ultraman. Even the warhawk guy with the fan, was appalled by that notion, and he took the longest to trust Tiga in my opinion. Plan F was stopped when the Dark Giants rampaged, but brought back in Dyna by the same fool who made Prometheus. It resulted in Terranoid, an Ultra devoid of a heart, it wasn't a protector, it was a weapon, which is why it became Zelganoid. Plan F perfectly captures my issue with this trend, the military, or the military minded, held nothing as sacred, not even the powerful beings who protected them out of nothing but the goodness of their own hearts, not even they were safe from their warmongering.

Dishonorable Mentions

Disregarding the Old Guard

This is here because, Tsuburaya doesn't really do this anymore (cough zero cough cough), but it was rampant during the Showa era.


Shiori Hiraki

Now this may come as a shock to you (unless you saw the table of contents, in which case you are curious), but why would I put this as number one, in fact, what is this number, because it can't be a character, especially not her, after going past Belial and Zero, and you would be correct.

To be specific, it's one scene that Shiori had, and for those not familiar, she is a member of the Night Raiders, from Ultraman Nexus. What is this scene that annoys me, more than Zero, more than Belial, more than over merchandising, more than the excess number of super powerful enemies, more than the military's bullheaded need to create weapons of mass destruction?!

Why her? Because it's not specifically her, this scene just illustrates a point that the more I think about it, it annoys me. This was when Nexus and Dark Mephisto first fought, and the Night Raiders came.  She mistook Mephisto for Faust, Ishibori literally had to point out to her that Faust and Mephisto had different markings...

...Faust, is a multi-colored, asymmetrical dark Ultra with a pair of horns sticking out of his head, Mephisto is just red and black, and had three short crests on his, how did this b&*^h get confused?! That's like confusing a black guy, with an Asian guy, how, how do you do that?!

And it's not even just her (which is the point), how many times, in how many shows, has an impostor come and try to ruin an Ultra's good name? How many? and they usually don't even look the same, different colored eyes, black marks where there shouldn't be, yet no one notices this until the hero appears, or even after that!

Mega Monster Galaxy: Ultra Galaxy, Alien Zarab approached the space prison, in his impostor Ultraman form, and the guards, upon seeing his face for more than a second, quickly figured out that he wasn't an Ultra. Even saying that it was too far away to see properly isn't a good excuse, because there would be people flying around these guys, getting a good look.

So that was my ten thing about the Franchise that annoy me the most. What were some moments, things or cliches that irritate you the most?

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